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Abandonware

by Roman a Clef

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1.
The raging clock The velvet shocks Felt, spring, and gear Patiently, it gets its man (have no fear) Our gears turn Some lives brightly burn So far, Never close I can't walk away From what I need the most We all feel trapped The same forces bind us Some in iron and some in gold If we want it all to end It can’t be sold
2.
The Prisoner 04:30
Were you misty eyed For the past? We can never touch The distance far too vast That we never lived Faraway, so close! The lines get blurred, the colors run Nothing is still, everything flows But before we let it go Give up that ancient prose Seductive and so comfortable Oh! Misled! Present never felt Future still un-dealt Past not dead, not even past Walk past the building That I went to school Do you remember the dread? Well, I remember some gloom Do you remember the girl? Was there a girl? Did you always feel like a fool? Living with no expectations Back before you had something to lose Every time we touch the air History is there Dragging us back Back down to the ground Live as you want to be Try to make new history But tethered to our ghosts Can't make it as we please With the present overcast Can we ever leave the past Went to the park That you had once known Tire swings dance on rope Naked branches groan Looked so much warmer then In those old polaroids You were smiling Holding some girl You can't remember A frozen shard of joy Perhaps you'd like to let it go But there's nothing else we know Traces all lead back, All back to ourselves Moments that shine Others lost to time Can't touch the center now The centers lies outside The tattoo from years ago The one you cover up with clothes Can't remember what it meant But you know just what it means A teenage milquetoast Making their mark Before they depart
3.
PSBTV 04:07 video
She said theres just no hope for me You're being too hard on yourself None of us are as They promised we would be Can't count the ways she said It was a mistake to study Sociology... With nothing to compare How can you weigh the cost Of being secure Or letting yourself get lost In your opinion, do you believe Tautology tragic, or more simply, misconceived Watching hours of TV To tether yourself to the world Different sets but the same broad strokes Character actors telling the same jokes The kind of books you always liked Have just gone out of style And the kind of music that you make Has caught on… for a while Tender and mild Unusually, they told me Sorry for you and me But this truth Can’t be bowed or bent Our youth, like all currency Was gladly misspent With no urgency You know it’s strong Stronger than the human heart Love and Decay A finish to every start You know it’s strong Stronger than the human heart We live in decay But try not to fall apart
4.
Hey I saw my friends today Hadn’t seen them in a while And we talked About the books we bought Couldn’t make each other smile Nervous beats Sitting upright in our seat Oh the tangled web we weave When we first practice to believe It hurts to talk like this About those you love the best How could you ever pass their test A schema for raw data An axiom for the plan How can you stand to listen to me? When I use words I just don’t understand It’s a shock When your eyes can’t even lock Are we looking at indifference To the old ways Never cared much about the days Oh culture What can one say That hasn’t been thought Won’t be able to repackage From blog to book And never bought Don’t let em push you around We’ll fight this on the ground Desperate for clarity, We have come to celebrate The banal spoken simply The hoary abused as simile Know what I want to mean Can you meet me in between? Does that seem cruel?
5.
Bye/Gone 05:14
Whats the point of knowing it's all for show When you've still got to play your part kid Oh All the boys Are losing their hair All the girls Pretend they don't care Shed all your worries Take better care Waiting to forget what they know I just want to start again Less composed - a better friend This production can't last And it shouldn't And it didn't Don't you ever abide Whoa-oh The past can provide for you Don't you ever abide Whoa-oh I've seen it before They’re buried like forceps Last time I saw you, You told me about a book you'd read "Answered Prayers" Written in the style we dread Ruthless in it's use of fiction as a blind for the truth Everyone's a slave to fact And still we never seem to get it right Our discourses Using storied sources So many feeble So many people working in the abstract In due reflection, the patterns were there People gaze upon cycles In awe and despair Bend straight lines Quotidian thoughts About the Dark Age, the 60s, the 90s and the aughts Pondering, intellectually wan Like all devoted fans We never notice …when we're on the jumbotron Pining for some age bygone "O thoughts of men accurs'd! Past and to come seem best; things present, worst" Ah, these storied sentiments Dare we ever rest? When every meager folly Is clear in all respects? Something to Someone With a word we come undone Truth or Consequence Some Mothers Son Evocative, to some Something to someone
6.
Lucky Toasts 03:46
Short shift and no luck In this town we claim to like the best Is that your sister? God, how she's growing I hope you've looked out For all I couldn't And those I wouldn't How’s your mother? Those I wanted I couldn't bother Save us last For all your faults I still love you best Wash away some sin And you clean up well With a new girlfriend And some serious debt A night in your sublet And I still feel well The day I left I would pay to forget The River blasting Out the stereo cassette Short shift and no luck In this town we claim to like the best Burning with desire God how it's frozen The things that one want Do they feel chosen? Could there be someone here In this room? A hand on mine Guiding the mouse Tracing an electronic bloodline A ghostly glow I catch someone in the screen I didn’t know I wanted them So now I live in between Save us last For all your faults I still love you best Wash away some sin I can hardly tell All kids can get along At the beach But not for long Let us lay it bare The places We have been It’s not the time But it’s growing near The way towards The weather The news, the team, and the year The night is saved by dark The dark goes to the dawn Forever breathes the light
7.
I took a train today To help you on your way To a life of respectability I have always respected your agility Our friends have all grown up No kids, Some still kids at 27 Told me it hasn’t been the same I agree completely You used to live with all your friends Now you make plans to spend time With people you don’t want to see Thats the cost of growing up He said to you But I don’t buy it Have you thought this whole thing through? You said: “I want to knit you a letter I want to write you a love sweater” Cadence sure but undeserved Everyone laughed But you’ve been thinking ever since About the virtue of the statement you have never been so sure Your heart’s like an open book Full of misdirection And red herrings A Roman a clef or two
8.
These games we play Are another way To redefine the pleasure Of sign and decay Has that romantic streak marbled your heart? Spend all your days picking up pieces Of a life, that by all rights hasn’t fallen apart Do you know what I mean? What power gives my words meaning? You told me, way back, that your friends were your family Now that you are angry with them all the time I guess they really are Disappointed, or Relieved? Such easy cruelty I can’t believe you’d be so naive Any bond can be poisoned, If you’re to be believed Despite what people say Ours is no heroic act Love and Decay Yet we live against the day Grow up and apart Grow old and get smart From the ghosts that share your name Hone your art Do you still live like you did? Takeout five nights in a row Laundry’s at the wash and fold And good God, you’re looking old! Over your shoulder At a world getting older What can we bring? We still haven’t learned a thing!

credits

released June 2, 2015

The ambitious new album by Ryan Newmyer/Jen Goma of A Sunny Day in Glasgow and Kurt Feldman of Ice Choir. Maybe it's a movie?

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Roman a Clef Brooklyn, New York

Roman a Clef is Ryan Newmyer and Jen Goma (of A Sunny Day in Glasgow) along with producer extraordinaire Kurt Feldman (Ice Choir). Fusing densely ambitious pop-craft with lush and inventive production, Roman a Clef is releasing their debut record “Abandonware” on Infinite Best (Mr. Twin Sister, Ava Luna) on June 2nd. ... more

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